Rupert Murdoch Has Discovered Masturbation

Obviously I’m talking about jacking off by the Mirriam-Webster definition, and not the broadcast kind where you stand in front of a camera and just verbalize whatever crazy bullshit happens to pop into your head. Murdoch and his organization has been very familiar with the latter since they formed in 1979.

I guess ultimately it’s a good thing that someone is at least trying to get the Fox crowd to not be such uptight prudes who apparently (at least according to the author) hear voices in their heads telling them that it’s evil. Here is a picture of her. Please masturbate to it now before continuing.

Russian Politician Under Investigation for Possibly Giving Information to his Alien Abductors

The Russian governor, bottom right.

This story brings up one of my favorite themes in interesting news stories. It’s one thing for someone to say or do something a little crazy, but where it gets interesting is when that spurs on another crazy reaction from some other party. And then things just take off, where the momentum of accumulated kookiness picks up with every new participant until it turns into an almost unstoppable Möbius strip of nutjobbery. If each unhinged reaction were a piece of debris, this story would be a massive ball from Katamari Damacy.

Arizona

The first thing you should know is that DJ Spooky and Chuck D remixed By the Time I Get to Arizona in response to SB 1070.

The second thing you should know is that’s not what’s in the video above because that’s a different remix by the Evolution Control Committee.

The third thing you should know is that it’s just a coincidence that this is Cinco de Mayo. I didn’t plan that out.

WTF CNN

It’ just surprising this wasn’t written by Rick Sanchez:

It sounds like a Hollywood movie. An impending disaster — think the disabled spacecraft in “Apollo 13″ or the asteroid hurtling toward Earth in “Armageddon” — prompts a daring intervention by engineers to save the day.