Kurt Vonnegut vs. The Bible

“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”
–Psalms 137:9

The high school board of education for the city of Republic, Missouri last week voted unanimously (4-0) to ban Kurt Vonnegut’s classic antiwar novel Slaughterhouse-Five from the school’s library. The board was responding to public complaints by one Wesley Scroggins, who was outraged that the city would use his tax dollars to store books which teach “principles contrary to the Bible” for children to read.

That’s a Spicy Miscarriage of a-Justice!

By Mario

Bonjourno! I’m a-Mario and I’m an Italian-Americano and I do-a the plumbing! But today I’m-a here to tell you about how I’m ashamed of my-a country’s criminal justice system, specifically in the small town of a-Perugia. Perhaps we discuss it over a nice-a pizza pie! Mario knows just the right-a place!

Ain’t No Party Like the Korean Workers Party ‘Cuz the Korean Workers Party Don’t Stop ‘Til All Students Are Conscripted Into Forced Labor Camps

BY KIM JONG-IL

1 2 3 4, Get your proletariat on the floor!

But if they try to escape, drag them to a small room without windows and shackle each of their limbs to a different wall.  Then bring in a few starved guard dogs and let them gnaw at his shins for 10 or 15 minutes, just to freak him out a bit. Then you’ll want to get the traitor into a stress position and start pulling out some fingernails ’cause that’s how we do it in Yodŏk boyyyyyy!

5 Fundamentalist Movies You Should Watch

GATES OF HELL

I learned about this movie from Right Wing Watch, which is an organization that watches the right wing. And they watched the right wing pushing this movie, and it looks awesome.

You might have heard about how conservatives have been trying to sell African-Americans on the idea of being against legal abortion lately. They’re putting up these nutty billboards (some of which imply that blacks are a distinct species) and running goofy political ads on the radio. See, they’re not racist anymore! They’re really concerned about black babies and how letting black women have abortions is like genocide. And that breaks their hearts. They are very concerned about black people. That’s what they’re pushing. It reminds me of how neo-Nazis like David Duke will pretend to be so compassionate to the Palestinians, when in reality they’re clearly more motivated by hating Jews than anything else.

Leave It To the Humorless, Subhuman Belgians To Take This Seriously

There’s a wonderful children’s book out for all the parents out there who want to teach their children about international politics and the case for a Belgian genocide. Here is a quick outline of the case for killing all the Belgians:

Troofers Get Serious, Like srsly

Carl Carlson, killed when terrorists flew planes into the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant on 9/11.

For the 10th anniversary of 9/11, “truthers” have finally performed repeated experiments, written them up, and submitted their reports to peer review. They will be published in a credible scientific journal.

No, I kid. They made a comic book. From the USA Today:

Let Us All Compare the President to a Human Penis

So Megan Fox Mark Halperin got suspended from Transformers 3MSNBC for calling Michael Bay President Obama Hitler “kind of a dick.” But the only thing I could find unprofessional about his saying that was that it’s a comment which is way overdue.

There’s nothing wrong with calling the President a dick, especially when he is one. And there are plenty of reasons to call this President a dick. Here is an unfortunately all-to-abbreviated list of reasons why.

Why Cops Are Usually Idiots

The answer is in a NY Times archived article from way back in 1999:

A Federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit by a man who was barred from the New London police force because he scored too high on an intelligence test.