Sarah Posner is the author of God’s Profits: Faith, Fraud, and the Republican Crusade for Values Voters and senior editor at Religion Dispatches where she covers politics. We talk about Republicans, contraception, my gambling debts, religious code words, the possible problems Foster Friess had with girls in high school, and lots more.
“We’ll talk later, my agent is on the other line for a role in a movie that hasn’t been made 135,000 times before.”
0-15:00 That guy from that French movie is in charge of a fantasy baseball team and he gets kicked out of the stadium for his “team” because it’s closed. Also, he’s drinking absinthe straight from the bottle and has puked over most of row D-23. After bailing him out, his buddy has an intervention and asks him if he wants to try managing his baseball team or something to help get his mind of drinking in empty stadiums by himself at night all the time. When he gets there he learns The Establishment of Baseball doesn’t care about whether or not the players can actually play baseball. They decide who gets on their team based solely on their blood types and astrological signs.
Last October there was a Halloween parade in central Pennsylvania where a guy named Ernie Perce dressed up as Zombie Mohammed, as one does. Talaag Elbayomy, an outraged local Muslim attacked him and Perce reported to incident to police in the area. They then arrested Elbayomy for harassment. This is pretty much what one would expect to happen. It’s sad that Elbayomy reacted in the way he did, but at least justice was served in the end. Right?
Well, no. Jonathan Turley is bringing this case up because Judge Mark Martin threw the case out on the grounds that Elbayomy was the true victim here, not Perce. And to be clear, this doesn’t appear to be a case where the defense lawyer is obscuring the basic facts of what happened. A video of the incident itself was even admitted into evidence. Everyone agrees about what actually happened. Martin sided with Elbayomy because he thinks he was right to attack Perce in defense of his boyfriend Prophet Mohammed.
I first heard about Alex Jones during one of my first breaks home from college, catching up with a friend from high school. He went to college in Meadville, PA, at the same school which after one semester drove Trent Reznor into the happening nightlife of Cleveland and probably fueled his angst-based career for the next 20 years.
So there wasn’t much to do in Meadville. One thing to do was drive around delivering pizzas to townies while listening to the Alex Jones radio show. That’s what my friend did. This was in the days before iPods, so unless you wanted to drag around your CD collection and risk it getting stolen by Alex Jones fans for crystal meth money, radio was your only option.
So we would get stoned and laugh at the crazy man yelling about the global “elite” in his documentaries. It’d be fun to pick apart the fact from fiction and to try to identify the point where reasonable concerns about government waste turned into the fever-dream rants of a paranoid lunatic. So yeah, the drug war is bullshit, but it’s not part of a UN plot to end American sovereignty.
Brad Pitt shows his son how many prostitutes he murdered that night.
0-15:00 So there’s this conservative Christian family in the 50s or 60s and they found out their son just went and got a sex change operation. They have a neighborhood prayer meeting in the hopes she would go to Marcus Bachmann’s recovery center. Half a century later the other brother is all grown up and starts thinking about growing up with his brother / now sister. He gets all creeped out by it because he’s still a trans-phobic Christian asshole. So he drunk dials his dad and makes fun of his toupee.
Dave Silverman is the President of American Atheists. Stand-up comic Joe Dixonjoins in and we talk to him about atheism and some fun upcoming events for secular activists like theReason Rally, which is March 24 in Washington, DC. Joe wonders aloud what Silverman’s penis looks like, and later Josh gets all reactionary and starts yelling about how atheism is a “choice.” Except not really.
Flat Earthers believe our planet looks something like this.
“It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry.” -Thomas Paine
Last weekend my Twitter timeline blew up when Kirk Cameron showed up at CPAC to lecture at the attendees about creationism and the worldwide mad deadly evolution conspiracy. But the mocking wasn’t coming from scientists or secular activists who work at keeping religion out of science classrooms. Those people tend to not show up at events like CPAC. No, it was coming pretty much exclusively from liberal political activist bloggers and journalists. And not only that, it was also exclusively coming from bloggers and journalists who, as far as I could tell, have never once written about biological evolution or the fallacies involved in creationist arguments. I speculated that most of them have never even opened a text on evolution before.
”That one alone will get us a couple crates of glue!”
0-15:00 The movie opens with John Williams piloting a plane with his orchestra who he has kidnapped. The deal is that they have to keep playing that sappy music he likes so much or else he will crash the plane. You ever wondered how he managed to get so much soundtrack work? Now you know. So Williams is spying on this town which seems to exist only for the sake of a horse-driven economy. Most people’s lives revolve around buying and selling horses. No other commerce is permitted. One of these horses is called War Horse, and a family trains him to assassinate a member of Austrian royalty. War Horse is obviously a code name for Whitney Houston. The horse starts smoking rocks all day.
Adam WarRock is a nerd rapper who releases a ridiculous amount of free content through his website. His newest album, You Dare Call That Thing Human?!?, was released just this week. We talk about nerdcore rap, comic books, sci-fi, ragequitting, politics, and his newest album.
You can buy his newest album here. Also, check him out on tour if you can.
0-10:00 Johnny and Jane America have tagged along with Jane’s parents to Paris. They hate each other and are probably only engaged to spite each other. Jane meets up with some of her friends and they all go out of town together so they can throw rocks at Johnny while yelling homophobic slurs at him for being a sissy boy who enjoys France, rain, and other gay stuff like that.
Atheist Hobos 