John Hugar Interview

John Hugar is a BEAST contributor who covers sports and music and a student at the University at Buffalo. We talk about music, movies, violence in sports, and lots of other random stuff.

Immortal Cyborgs! Amish Smoke-Detecting Demons! Reagan Blood 4 Sale! And More!

I have a feeling that writing a weekly column about people saying and doing crazy things is going to get a lot easier now that it’s getting warmer. The heat seems to drive normal people nuts and sends the ones who were already a little off into Francis E Dec territory. At least that’s the explanation I gave myself when I tried to narrow down all the weird news stories to summarize this week. And that’s probably a self-serving explanation because the alternative – that this is part of a larger downward spiral into universal lunacy – is just too depressing.

The Winged Beatle

These two guys don’t look alike at all!!1

Constellations never made any sense to me. The stars are just randomly plotted around the night sky and it always seemed arbitrary to me to say that certain stars make up one constellation while others are separate. And all the shapes they were mean to represent were never apparent to me, even when other people tried to point them out and connect the dots.

The Winged Beatle reminded me of how I can be astrologically challenged in that sense. It’s a documentary which promotes the conspiracy theory that Paul McCartney died in a car accident in 1966 and has now been replaced by a doppelganger. This is “proved” by a series of unrelated anomalies and “clues” mostly hidden in Beatles music and the album artwork.

Kristen Becker Interview

Kristen Becker is a local stand-up comedian. She recently won the Best in Buffalo award for best stand-up comedian. Her new album is called How COULD She? BEAST contributor Joe Dixon joins in for this interview. We talk about comedy, Buffalo, politics, our gay president, and doing manual labor while watching porn.

God’s PR Squad Lies Again! Alex Jones! Stoned Angels Ordering Pizza!

STOP THE PRESSES: Alex Jones is being stupid again, you guys! He has exposed the secret atheist agenda, and can you guess what it is? You get one guess. If your guess was a mishmash of Jonesian buzzwords like “New World Order,” “conspiracy,” “Luciferian,” and “occult,” then you win!

Alex Jones does this “research,” OK? He doesn’t ever cite any sources because usually his research involves just making shit up. But according to his research, everyone funding atheist groups are secretly occultist Luciferians, like pretty much everyone else who doesn’t believe everything published on InfoWars.

Matt Mogk Interview

Matt Mogk is head of the Zombie Research Society. He’s also the author of That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies. His upcoming graphic novel is ZDC: Zombie Disease Control. We talk about zombies. There may be a few minor spoilers for The Walking Dead, The Road, Dead-Alive, Night of the Living Dead, and Contagion.

God is Not a Fan of the Ladies

Earlier in the week I had the opportunity to interview Melody Hensley from CFI-DC about a conference she’s organizing about women’s issues and the secular movement. Hopefully we got a few more people to attend it but if nothing else it’s gotten me thinking about these issues a little more. So check out these weird sexist dudes I’ve learned about this week.

Melody Hensley Interview

Melody Hensley is the executive director of the Center for Inquiry in Washington, DC and is organizing the upcoming Women in Secularismconference. We talk about feminism, privilege, whether or not books should be left in the bathroom, and the conference. Also I try to coin a new term but then find out that it’s already been appropriated by racist immigrant-bashers.

Secret Communist Subliminal Messages! Supermoons! God Lives in Ohio! And More!

“It’s a Supermoon, dicknose!”

Tomorrow there will be a full moon, and it’s going to be the biggest one of the year. It’s one of those Supermoons. And it’ll be on May 5th, 2012 (5/5!!). Does this mean the Moon will grow so much that it will reverse the Earth’s magnetic poles, causing massive earthquakes and tsunamis which will then awaken the sleeping Mayan god Quetzalcoatl? And will Quetzalcoatl then destroy the world in accordance with the unwritten ancient prophecies? Probably!

That’s the kind of thing you get with Supermoons. At least that’s what happened last year during another supermoon, so we can probably expect it again.