The Epigenome Project: You Should Really Stop Looking at Porn

Posted: August 11, 2012 by Marc Johnson in Satire, Science
Tags: , , , , , ,

Suggested Musical Accompaniment: Particle Man by They Might Be Giants

“I’m gonna beat you so bad that your momma’s gonna feel me for the next ten birthdays,” Tommy Costello called out before kicking my twelve-year old ass all over the baseball diamond. Although, I was more concerned with not pissing myself in between punches, I still had enough sense to know that no matter how hard he hit me, my momma wasn’t going to feel a thing.

…But my kids might.

If you’ve heard of Epigenetics, you’re probably unsure of how to feel about the fact that genetic code is directly affected by human social experience. Most of you are probably more concerned about the possibility that your genetic code may be directly affected by watching entirely too much porn.

For those who didn’t get the joke in the previous paragraph, Epigenetics is the study of changes in genetic expression as a result of outside social experience. Whilst the old school says, “Don’t let him get under your skin!” the new school knows you don’t have any choice.

Epigenomes don’t change the underlying nucleotide sequences. Instead, they inhibit the expression of inactive genes while assisting the expression of active genes. You keep what you use, and, what you don’t, you lose. While my scrapbooking gene has definitely withered away to nothing, my alcoholism gene is definitely raging.

Outside factors affect us to varying degrees in different stages in our life. Babies are the most susceptible. This concerned me as my expression of indifference to my own infant may come back to bite me when I’m too old to wipe my own ass. Her ‘give-a-fuck’ gene will undoubtedly be surpassed as a result of my spending entirely too much time watching Battlestar Galactica instead of reading to her.

Epigenetics does mean that many of us are more interconnected than we realized earlier. The interactions that we have with each other are no longer limited to mere experiences and fading memories, but have a deep biological significance that can change our very genetic phenotypes. How cool is that!?

 It means that a parent’s experiences, in the form of epigenetic tags, can be passed down to future generations.

These same interactions can be passed down to our kids and to our grand kids. So, in essence, we are all interconnected biologically. Looks like there is something to that Brahman dude after all.

Studying twins has also provided a good look into the world of Epigenomes.

 The study suggests that, as twins age, epigenetic differences accumulate, especially when their lifestyles differ.

Most of us would guess that if two twins lived completely different lives, they would end up being different people. But, who would’ve guessed that those changes would be at a genetic level? What they eat, where they live, what they breathe, and how they are treated by their parents all stimulate a response from their Epigenomes.

Of course, Epigenetics calls into question the continuing evolution of human beings.

Recently I read a post of an “amateur scientist” who berated another for even suggesting that human beings continue to evolve. Epigenetics not only says that this “amateur scientist” is an asshole loser who doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but Epigenetics also says that we are continuing to evolve in an even more rapid pace than through mutation or natural selection.

Epigenetic inheritance adds another dimension to the modern picture of evolution. The genome changes slowly, through the processes of random mutation and natural selection. It takes many generations for a genetic trait to become common in a population. The epigenome, on the other hand, can change rapidly in response to signals from the environment. And epigenetic changes can happen in many individuals at once. Through epigenetic inheritance, some of the experiences of the parents may pass to future generations. At the same time, the epigenome remains flexible as environmental conditions continue to change. Epigenetic inheritance may allow an organism to continually adjust its gene expression to fit its environment – without changing its DNA code… These studies provide strong evidence that early-life experience could shape lifelong phenotypes. (Szyf M, February 2012)

Oh, and by the way. For those who think that Epigenomes are nothing but cool, they also cause cancer.

Sorry.

Don’t forget to eat your vegetables,

The Mighty “M”

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