The Internet Loves Big Bird!

While most of Mitt Romney’s debate with President Obama was filled with lies and misdirection, there was one thing that old Mitty uttered that caused the Internet to go to fucking war.

For probably the best analysis of the debates last night, you should check out Erin Gloria Ryan’s post over on Jezebel. It’s so damn good, that it stopped me cold from posting my own full commentary which would’ve paled in comparison. My favorite bit was:

Like every performance of choreographed political theater, while both candidates dropped a lot of numbers, they weren’t really talking specifics. Lots of sentences like this one from Romney: “I’ll restore the vitality that gets America working again.”

Reflect on that for a moment. Is that a motto for a vibrating Japanese face sponge? What does that even mean? What vitality? Working how? Restoring back to what? How does someone respond to that? “Restore? The only restorations you’ll do on America’s vitality is the kind that old lady did when she ruined that Jesus fresco in Spain.”

Like every self-respecting liberal, I was cursing Pres. Obama’s name for such a horrible performance. That is until I realized that he was fighting a phantom, a ghost, or an eidolon. You can’t punch a fucking ghost!  Mitt Romney wasn’t there. Here’s kind of how it went:

Moderator: B, how does your tax policy differ from Mittens?

Obama: (Wakes up with a start) Well. Wait. What? Oh, Well, Mitty wants to raise taxes on the Middle class and lower taxes on the rich. Just like this study says.

Mittens: Taxes! What the hell are taxes? I don’t even know what the fuck those things are. And Studies? I can find a study that says that you were born in Kenya. But that’s not true. Or is it?

That’s the gist of the whole debate. But one nugget caused the internet to stir when Romsies said:

I’m sorry, Jim, I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I’m going to stop other things. I like PBS, I love Big Bird, I actually like you, too. But I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it.

Besides for not being a coherent sentence, which makes me think that he never watched Sesame Street, Mitty’s statement got the internet pissed at him. And the internet fights back the only way it knows how. With memes and twitter feeds. 

Courtesy of @FiredBigBird