Mitt Romney Finds Himself with Nothing to Do

A little hobby that Mitt Romney picked up about 8 years ago has abruptly come to an end. Like a man who spent nearly a decade of his life trying to build a ship in a bottle to only have it collapse at the very last moment, Mitt Romney has suddenly found out that his hobby that he picked up years ago has been crushed. After spending millions of his and other people’s dollars, the millionaire venture capitalist will need to find something actually useful to do with his time. Maybe raking the leaves in his summer home in Massachusetts, or simply writing another book on the beach of his winter home in California. Either way, while he concedes that it is difficult to give up on a hobby that has taken up nearly 1/5 of his life, he’s probably just looking forward to taking it easy, sitting by the pool, collecting million dollar checks that he pays no taxes on. All and all, it was a good run. But, I’m sure he’ll get by with his meager earnings. Maybe he’ll buy a country to rule over instead.

 

 

Mitt Hides His Money Behind a Bunch of Mormons!

A post on Bloomberg.com by Jesse Drucker finally helps expose a part of why Mitt Romney wouldn’t release his tax returns. Essentially, he used the Mormon Church’s tax exempt status to defer taxes for over 15 years.

Romney used the tax-exempt status of a charity — the Mormon Church, according to a 2007 filing— to defer taxes for more than 15 years. At the same time he is benefiting, the trust will probably leave the church with less than what current law requires, according to tax returns obtained by Bloomberg this month through a Freedom of Information Act request.

In general, charities don’t owe capital gains taxes when they sell assets for a profit. Trusts like Romney’s permit funders to benefit from that tax-free treatment, said Jonathan Blattmachr, a trusts and estates lawyer who set up hundreds of such vehicles in the 1990s.

The entire article can be read HERE.

Just another reason why churches shouldn’t have tax exempt status.

Mitt Romney is a Goddamn White Horse!

Suggested Musical Accompaniment:  White Horse  by Laid Back

In 1843, Joseph Smith, the dude behind Mormonism, said

You will see the Constitution of the United States almost destroyed. It will hang like a thread as fine as a silk fiber….It will be preserved and saved by the efforts of the White Horse and by the Red Horse who will combine in its defense.

Look at My Horse

The Internet Loves Big Bird!

While most of Mitt Romney’s debate with President Obama was filled with lies and misdirection, there was one thing that old Mitty uttered that caused the Internet to go to fucking war.

How Mitt Romney Keeps Making My Job Difficult

When I was approached to write for AtheistHobos, I was hoping that I could use the opportunity to talk about two things that I love: Science and Philosophy.

Then this jerk came along:

 

5 Awesome Things About Mormonism!

Suggested Musical Accompaniment: Faith No More – Land of Sunshine

My undies is tight!

Nothing makes me happier than to know that, on November 2^nd 2012, Bible-banging Conservatives will be forced to vote for a Mormon or face another four years of Obama. Of course, many of these Christi-Cons still have no idea what the hell a Mormon is. Therefore, in the interest in education, here are five of the most awesome parts of the Mormon religion.

How Sweet it Is: How the Religious Right is About to Vote for Atheism!

There was a time that voting for a Catholic for president was considered controversial. And, coming in November, Right Wing Christian Conservatives – Or “Ri-Wi-Chri-Cons” as I like to call them – will be forced to vote for a Mormon. There is very little more in this world that brings me more glee than to see Ri-Wi-Chri-Cons forced to vote for a dude that believes that, if we all work hard enough, we can all become gods. But, now it comes down the wire that there is a little cherry to top this delicious religious wing-nut sundae.

Paul Fucking Ryan!

“Mitt the Twit”

Mitt Romney, who is aspiring for the position of head diplomat of the US, has been in the news lately for saying some rather undiplomatic things during his visit to  England Britain the UK.  And the media are giving him a hell of a time.  My favorite headline is the Sun’s with Mitt the Twit as it reports him saying he had looked out of “the backside of Number 10“.  Which roughly translates from UK to American as ‘he was looking down the ass of the administration’s spokesperson.’  Gotta love the lulz Mittens brings to the international table.

Anyway, that’s not the real point of this post.  Instead, today I’m interested in Mitt’s tax returns and his motives for not releasing more than the past two years worth.  This story has been getting a lot of press and Mitt himself has received quite a bit of pressure even from his conservative allies.   As Salon’s Joan Walsh notes, conservative stalwart George Will believes “[Romney] must have calculated that there are higher costs in releasing them [than to continue their concealment].”  The hypothesis is that while the tax records that Romney has released, 2010 and 2011, indicate an effective tax rate of 14%, prior records could reveal an effective tax rate that is significantly below that mark.

Don’t tell anyone, but I actually don’t pay ANY taxes! Fuck you Uncle Sam!

Mitt Romney = Baby Eater?

Delicious!

I am almost, but not entirely, convinced that Mitt Romney may or may not have been, at some point, or currently is a secret baby eater. The presumptive Republican nominee for president, not as far as he knows but heretofore many have speculated, could’ve possibly been seen in the presence of cannibals. But there is overwhelming evidence that he could or could not possibly be secretly involved in a super secret society of baby cannibals.

Greetings, I’m New Here!

Hello Ladies and Gentleman! My name is Justin Williams and I’m part of a collective called The Cult Comedy Picture Show.  Every other Thursday, I will bring you my own satirical take on hot button political, cultural issues along with a sketch from our gang.  Think of me as Athiest Hobo’s King of Cartoons.

Now lets get this party started.  First of all, I’m pretty sad that GOP primary season came to a close.  I really wanted that crazy train to keep rolling. Oh the memories! Herman Cain’s wide hats, Rick Perry’s inability to name the key tenets of his own platform, Newt Gingrich’s bright ideas about bringing back child labor, Michele Bachman’s inability to close her eyes and of course, everyone ignoring Jon Huntsman because he was the only guy not foaming at the mouth like Cujo.

Despite my sadness at their demise via Mitt Romney, we at the Cult Comedy Picture show salute all the former Republican candidates for their crazy candor.  We will always have the memories right?  Check our musical tribute to them called “Insane on the Campaign.”